The following principles, based on Matthew 18, shape our personal as well as collective peacemaking endeavours.

1. If you have a problem with me, please come to me (privately).
2. If I have a problem with you, I’ll come to you (privately).
3. If someone has a problem with me and comes to you, send them to me (I’ll do the same for you).
4. If someone consistently will not come to me, say, “Let’s go see him together. I am sure he will see us about this” (I’ll do the same for you).
5. Be careful how you interpret me – I would rather do that myself. On matters that are unclear, do not feel pressured to interpret my feelings or thoughts. It is easy to misrepresent intentions.
6. I will be careful how I interpret you.
7. If it’s confidential, don’t tell. If you or anyone else comes to me in confidence, I won’t tell, unless the person is going to harm themselves, the person is going to harm someone else or it involves a child who has been physically or sexually abused. In cases of church discipline, the clergy will follow Jesus instructions in Matthew 18:15-20. I expect the same from you.
8. I do not read unsigned letters or notes.
9. I do not manipulate; I will not be manipulated; do not let others manipulate you. Do not let others try and manipulate me through you.
10. When in doubt, just say it. If I can answer it without misrepresenting something or breaking a confidence, I will.

Adapted from John Maxwell, There’s no such thing as Business Ethics (Warner, 2003) pp.44-45.